New Year

The year is new. Fresh. A clean slate. The possibilities are endless! My mind is a jumble of thoughts, memories, dreams, hopes, worries, and confusion. I have a feeling that, though this year is clean and young, I might still come to the end of it with my mind in a similar state as the one stated above. How is it, that every day and every year I am being "made holy", sanctified, renewed, and yet, the older I get, the greater my sin grows?

I haven't blogged in quite a while. Honestly, every time I would come to the blog and try to write something my brain would freeze up, and I would mentally run away from the task of typing out words on the computer. And so... after a long break, here I am, plunging into the depths of this journal--all the while, wondering if anything I'm writing actually makes sense. Sense or no sense, I will continue to write. I was talking to a dear friend (cough...Kelly) and she told me that it was time to write again; that every time she checked my blog it was still the last post from back at Easter. In-spite of my failures of being a consistent blogger, or being queen of worriers, or always choosing the easy way out, I have One who gives me each day as a new beginning, a day to start fresh, a day--even though I'm doomed to fail--to gain more knowledge of and strength from Him who so graciously and abundantly lavishes good things upon His undeserving child.

"I launch my bark on the unknown waters of this year,

with thee, O Father, as my harbour,

thee, O Son, at my helm,

thee, O Holy Spirit, filling my sails.

Guide me to heaven with my loins girt, my lamp burning,

my ear open to thy calls, my heart full of love, 

my soul free.

Give me thy grace to sanctify me, thy comforts to cheer,

thy wisdom to teach, thy right hand to guide,

thy counsel to instruct, thy law to judge, 

thy presence to stabilize.

May thy fear be my awe, thy triumphs my joy."