Much Afraid

The lovely person who lives with me 24-7 right now was excitedly telling me how much she loved the book Jeremiah.  Sitting next to her on our love bed (what we call two beds pushed together in order to make one bed), wasting away my time browsing Facebook and my different email accounts--in my mind trying to validate my doing nothing as important--Kelly was next to me bathing herself in her Savior's rich words of comfort and hope--

"Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not."  and, "And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.  And I will be found by you, saith the LORD: and I will turn away your captivity, and I will gather you from all the nations, and from all the places whither I have driven you, saith the LORD; and I will bring you again into the place whence I caused you to be carried away captive."


My name is Much Afraid, for I am fearful of the unknown and I do not fully trust that God's will is good.  I want to be fearless and confident in my Lord, but every day, when faced with some tempest, I cling to my fear and push God further away.  Today God showed me, that despite my struggles and frustrations, He is still sovereign and in control of every moment of my life.  Even in the midst of my grumbling and self-pity, He gently showed me my sin by pointing my eyes back to Him through my dear cousins pure and simple excitement about scripture!  Oh, how small and trivial the struggles of life seem when put in perspective! I might as well add that my sweet cousin (and roommate!) also washed all my clothes and sheets for me yesterday when I was out of town because she thought (I quote), "Glenn shouldn't have to do this all on Sunday.  She should have the opportunity to rest."

God always surprises me with how he gets my attention.  Sometimes it's painful and then sometimes--like this time--it's completely unexpected, gentle and loving.  So here I am, undone and utterly humbled.  The only thing I can do now is give thanks.